I was watching a television show earlier and I suddenly felt this terrible sadness. I did not understand the reason for awhile. Then it struck me. I have lost so much of my freedom.
I can't dance like I want to, like I used to love to dance. I can't roll around with my dogs as I used to. I can't even get down to the floor even if my neck could take the roughhousing. I can't go out to my beautiful garden and plant organic vegetables. I can't read a book for too long anymore as my neck hurts and my arms hurt. I can't just take the car and drive to a Starbucks gor a latte. I can't go on holidays.
I need help for many things I do now. I cannot understand. I was stronger and more independent a little more than three years ago. I could walk to the shops across from my office alone, I could drive, albeit with pain. I exercise now, more than I ever did. What has happened.
I mourn this great loss. Today I feel this loss so much. Rheumatoid Arthritis, you have taken so much from me.
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