Ramblings I

Its been quite awhile since I last posted. I just reread my last post and the typos! The word is "blooming" not "blooing" BTW.

Other matters have taken my attention. A family wedding I was looking forward to and actually helped with, with my daughter. My daughter being here for the long summer holidays. Thinking about my career, things to do. Then there are those so addictive facebook games. When you are rather immobile, your computer is your communication lifeline. At night time spent not sleeping is spent on my computer. Anyone want to be my friend on "frontierviille" ? I harvest my crops at such a great speed in my virtual homestead but am still trying to grow a vegetable in my actual garden. Oh well. I must go back to playing "lexulous. No, that's not a facebook game. Try it, it keeps the brain exercised and you "meet" people from all over the world. When I chat while playing, I lose as these lovely fingers of mine refuse to cooperate.

My daughter will leaving soon for university and I will have to do all that she does now, feeding the animals, making coffee and a lot more. The feet will swell, there will be more pain but it will distract me from missing her. Must take up salsa dance classes - now where do I find a teacher?

Any new RA pain? The blasted disease is now causing me problems in my left shoulder. It seems exercise wont help much and hurts as I have found out to my dismay. A few days and arcoxia and its much btter. My poor daughter has been suffering longer, had to have a couple of wisdom teeth removed and ended up with a mouthful of ulcers. I have comfored her telling her that that pain, however bad, will end.

Anyone who is suffering from pain and wants empathy, come to me.

A Survivor.

Not a good day for me. The last few days have not been good days. My daughter left on the 11th, my sister and her son yesterday, but I try to be positive. The pain doesn't help. My feet feel as if they are on fire and just hurt. My left is giving problems again. I am not sure why. It has been totally replaced. Then there are those continuos headaches. Am quite sure its my neck that is causing them. I stumble around just being a grouch. My blooing jonts. My blooing RA!

Ok, enough of the whining. Whining and whingeing do not help. It would help to talk to somebody but my family have their own prolems, their own pains. I look down at Mikey, my poodle and he looks up at me with uttter trust and love. That helps, believe you me. Having my animals aroung, those beings who love me unconditionally, has helped me and continues to help me. Anyone who says animals don't feel real love for us, is a moron or has never had a pet or has never looked at an animal as anything but property, a commodity. If you look at an animal as a commodity, it makes it easier for you to ignore its suffering and pain and pretend it does not feel.

I force myself on my stationary bike, even 3 minutes of exercise helps. I push myself. Sitting down and doing nothing does not ease the pain, that is the thing about RA. It challenges you to move and keep busy. I am distracted from the pain when i talk to someone, when give advice, when I laugh at the antics of my hyper active german shepherd, Amber.

When I first wake up, life seems torturous and all I think off is the overwhelming pain. A few hours later, I know I will be okay. Iam a survivor!