Thursday, January 14, 2010

A Survivor.

Not a good day for me. The last few days have not been good days. My daughter left on the 11th, my sister and her son yesterday, but I try to be positive. The pain doesn't help. My feet feel as if they are on fire and just hurt. My left is giving problems again. I am not sure why. It has been totally replaced. Then there are those continuos headaches. Am quite sure its my neck that is causing them. I stumble around just being a grouch. My blooing jonts. My blooing RA!

Ok, enough of the whining. Whining and whingeing do not help. It would help to talk to somebody but my family have their own prolems, their own pains. I look down at Mikey, my poodle and he looks up at me with uttter trust and love. That helps, believe you me. Having my animals aroung, those beings who love me unconditionally, has helped me and continues to help me. Anyone who says animals don't feel real love for us, is a moron or has never had a pet or has never looked at an animal as anything but property, a commodity. If you look at an animal as a commodity, it makes it easier for you to ignore its suffering and pain and pretend it does not feel.

I force myself on my stationary bike, even 3 minutes of exercise helps. I push myself. Sitting down and doing nothing does not ease the pain, that is the thing about RA. It challenges you to move and keep busy. I am distracted from the pain when i talk to someone, when give advice, when I laugh at the antics of my hyper active german shepherd, Amber.

When I first wake up, life seems torturous and all I think off is the overwhelming pain. A few hours later, I know I will be okay. Iam a survivor!

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